I can’t see myself bearing the greatest pain putting my life and soul to bring a life on earth and nurture it, and then see it growing upto to be something I don’t want it to be…that fear just kills me.

Personally I think parenthood like all other relationship is also a very selfish act. We bring in a life not because the life wants to be here but because we need it to meet our selfish needs. Like you rightly mentioned, we need a plaything, we need someone to carry forward our name, we need a support for our old age…blah blah

And couldn’t agree more when you said, “I don’t want to teach and groom a child into a great human being because there are already many parents who are doing this and our world is swarmed with pretty little people and child prodigies”

Why add to the human burden on earth to appease yourself.

Sorry to tell this, but its true that Motherhood is not be-all and end-all in woman’s life. Just try reading Erma Bombeck’s “Motherhood:the second oldest profession” and also Lionel Shriver’s “We Need To Talk about Kevin” A must read for mothers.

Empty Nest syndrome - Its really hard on a woman’s to just let her life go empty after all that she had spent on her bringing them up just to know that her life will go blank after a while. Only few women do the balancing act.

“A woman who has seemingly immune to the maternal instincts”. A little immunity helps at times. No need to worry.

“Something hurts somewhere”. Tell you something didi, Its good to go deaf on certain people for they don’t even have any decent sense of knowledge to understand that two and two makes four and it makes @least ten months for things to work out.

Didi, Stand up! stretch. Take time to enjoy life, as you said Being a good companion makes life good. After all He is the one with whom you’re gonna spend life with. “Its about being more than two and less than one.”

And the best thing in life is to take care of another individual! and its best when its your own blood!!!

Give in time, Take one step @ time! give in lot of thought, Give time and thought to Enjoy the wonderful creation of God in you. Cheers! Enjoy Life as it comes.

“May all goodness befall this beautiful person”
And still I dunno if a 22yr young kid to all this stuff!!!

The fun and satisfaction those little angels bring into your life is far greater than the miseries (if one really wants to call it that way) like loss of private time, higher expenses etc. would bring. Even when they grow up they are still enjoyable, great fun to have them around. Bringing up children is not easy, but then nothing that can bring happiness in life is easy. Every couple goes through the same questions and doubts that you have raised. There will be challenges all along, I would say forever, probably for the rest of your life, but at the end - I still think it is worth the trouble.

Let me tell you another thing - the fragrance of a new born baby is some thing which is unbelievable, no perfumery can ever reproduce that divine smell. And that intoxicating smell lasts couple of years (and by that time you can look forward to another one!!). After my children grew up, I even borrowed neighbour’s baby to play couple of times.

I would say anyone who is medically fit to have baby should have. Specifically you should at least have one, even if you have to take extended leave or give up the job for some time to bring up your child, sure you will be able to find another job/career later. Believe me your world will be far more beautiful after you have a baby.

Very well put. No matter how much I want a kid but am too scared now. As you rightly say, with a full time job and other things to take care of, even if we want, we may not be able to do full justice to parenthood. After all bringing a life to this world requires much more than family pressure and their need to have a play mate. 100% conviction is required. With 2 dogs keeping both of us on our toes always, I can very well see what a child is going to do to our lives. We cant leave for late night parties, weekend trips just at the drop of a hat becuase of our puppies. With a baby in life, things would take a completely different turn. (I am sorry if my comparison with puppy and baby sounds silly but both are a responsibility. Baby being the greatest responsibility of all. I can compare the situation becuase I am already in one)

We decided to have our child becoz we felt th time was right. Eventually we’ve also had a second child. Somedays, when we want to have a bit of “Us” time together without the kids, we do miss our pre-kid days… Things with kids can never be the same. There is a lot to do and as u’ve rightly said, with the kind of urban set-up we are in, its impossible to find “couple” time once u have ‘em.

But the good thing is also that they grow up. My kids are 8 and 5 and for the last two years Ive been sending them to their grandparents’ place for the summer break. They get to bond with the granparents and we get some time alone to do the things we’d like to do…like go trekking or river rafting etc.

Having said that, you can travel and see the world with kids. Maybe u cant back pack but certainly u can see the world…and travel…

Its a tremendous responsibility…child bearing and rearing, and u must plunge in to it only if u are 100% convinced. I would suggest that u take ur time. Enjoy matrimony and have cherishable “us” times before u take the plunge….

All the best!!!